Love is Cinto

Thank you for reminding me that I shouldn't be afraid of who I am. I am a Muslim A Muslim woman who wear headscarf in daily basis. If now, my religion is targeted by misconception, I should not step back. Well, we had this struggle on the early age of its revelation. Other religions and minorities also had been through the similar type of situation. The shadow will soon shed away, Inshaa Allah. So I shall not fear. Because I have Allah, as the Protector. I study in the UK now. Soon as the Paris attack occurred, hate crime against Muslim was awaken. I am not afraid here in Durham, since it is a small lovely city. But I had this thought in mind when approaching 2016 New Year eve. There was a news about some random guy pushed a hijabi woman to railway in London's subway, and it got me caught a glimpse of fear to be in public [if I were in London] and I was like, "thank God, I live in this city" Then I think to myself, How lucky

“I don’t like this” Think again! Why don’t you like it? Is it because of your ego? Is it because of what Allah has said? Well, it has never been about you, me, or us. Ask again! “Does Allah like it?” That’s the question that we should pose to ourselves, because we are here, in this dunya,  to please Allah. Our task then is to vigorously learn and reflect on Allah’s Kalaam (words).  Certainly, we won’t be following the wrong thing and think of it as from Allah, right? That’s why it is important to root for reliable sources with critical thinking. Besides, Allah always challenges us to think, doesn’t He?

Satu hal yang aku pelajari dari teman dan sahabat yang saat ini sudah berumahtangga.  I know their story long before they decided to get marry. I may say, I knew a few of their problems that almost break them apart. But they made it anyway. That’s not because their couple are perfect and never make mistakes. It’s actually the other way around. They made mistakes and were forgiven. Forgive and move on. That’s the key. My friends decided that these imperfect men were perfect for them. I pray for their happiness, merciful, and blessed marriage. I don’t know if it’s only me, but I usually will use a check lists. Once they satistified the first item, they pass onto the next one. Up until all the lists are checked. Guess what? That’s never happen. No one has ever made it to the last list. They must had been fallen out in the process. Hmmm.. Now, I feel like that kind of approach is a total joke. Because the journey is never been about finding the one who can fulfill them all. 

Corresponding to the last post, I am not saying that every religion is right. NO! Tolerance does not go that far.  Sure, a person would say that his/her belief is the right one. If not, why would (s)he bother to follow its teachings? Saying “all religions are true” is so diplomatic speech. Deep down, we know what we believe in and why. And sure, as a Muslim, I would strongly say that Islam is the right one. That’s my ultimate truth. That’s for me. For you? You can decide it on your own and I respect that. To me, the above paragraph shows  tolerance in my humble opinion.  Tolerance allows you to respect others’ view even when you are standing across their position. It enables you to come up and say your opinion fearlessly even when nobody agrees with you (and you do not  force  them to). The ability to  acknowledge the existing differences  without violently impose our views on others [or vice versa], and eliminating the necessity to act as if we are the same [or similar by blurr

I am not the type of person who enjoys crowd, party, nor spend money extravagantly. But, watching fireworks display on the US Independence Day was just exceptional. I remember it was summer 2012 when I and my fellow USIPPers walked down to DC for Fourth of July celebration. There is a certain optimism in the air when the giant fireworks sparked and got closer to us. They touched us personally, somehow. I didn’t know if this was even possible (haha!). My eyes widened as my heart filled up with joy. I was there. We were there, people from all races, genders, and faiths. But, we still shared something in common: enjoying the same beauty and peace. Somehow, the display gave us hope amidst whatever difficult situation the people or the country were facing. Aku masih inget banget. Macem orang Indonesia pada umumnya, ketika kita menyaksikan sesuatu yang asik di negara lain , we just can’t help but to compare it with what would had happened if we were in Indonesia. There must have bee

For these last couple of days, I basically bombarder my posts by linking Mr. Nouman Ali Khan’s videos. Haha just can’t help it because I find it interesting, intriguing, and responding to my queries this whole time. Often, I feel like it directly answering my questions or discussions I had recently with a friend. I would not say that I completely agree with him in every matters, but mostly I do. He tried to explain issues in a rationale and fair manner without putting rationality as the ultimate truth (you know what I mean?), unlike prescriptive khutbah (sermon) that I used to listen when I was a kid. Honestly, that kind of prescriptive speech, I would say, also contributed to the distance I had been taking from learning Islam. It simply didn’t satisfy me. IMHO, we need to transform our learning process into more participatory, treat kids as an active learner, and avoid taqlid (follow things unquestionably). I believe Allah’s messages in the Qur’an are not for nothing, they must be

One of my favourite drama comedy is “How I Met Your Mother” (HIMYM). It’s smartly hilarious, offering a unique concept, having strong lead characters, and bunch of sweetness inside its silly plot. Why is it sweet? You should watch them! :P Anyway, today I watched one of my favourite episode of this my favourite comedy. It’s where Ted Mosby tried to date that charming dentist with one daughter. The girl repeatedly refused Ted’s invitations, till at last she said that she only got 2 minutes for lunch. And you know what? Ted put A LOT OF efforts to date her within that 2 minutes!!! He came to her and said, “OK, 2 minutes is enough” –> well more or less lah ya. Cant remember the whole dialogue. He had arranged the whole thing from rented a personal taxi driver, prepared the lunch table (including complete meal courses and waitress to serve), chairs for them to watch cinema (it’s actually a TV display from TV shop nearby), a bucket of flowers (though she turned out to be a

I supposed to work on my essay right now, but I don’t feel like to. So, here I am, putting all my heart out through this keyboard. To you. Ceritanya aku lagi ngrasain yang namanya midlife crisis kali ya. I am 25 years 11 months 5 days now, I am not the one I used to be. Sure lah ya. Maksudku aku lagi ngerasa butuh guidance nih, lagi meninjau ulang apa yang ingin ku lakukan dengan hidupku setelah lulus nanti? Lebih jauh lagi, sebenernya aku kepengen jadi apa sih? Apa iya aku cuma pengen ketemu jodohku terus mendukung apa yang ia inginkan? Nah, ini nih. Jodoh ini bikin mumet juga. Kenapakah kau tak nampak-nampak jua gerangan? Lagi kena macet apa gimana? Jangan kelamaan dong.. Biar bisa diajak nge-planning bareng :( HAHAHA Kok rasanya gak aku banget, bergantung sama planningnya orang lain. Apa iya aku akan merasa cukup dengan kerja di bidang keuangan dan melakukan yang terbaik dan yang penting optimal kemampuanku? Apa iya kemampuanku bakal optimal dan bisa berguna buat bany

“Budi pekerti seseorang tidak hanya dilihat dari hal besar yang ia lakukan, tetapi lebih pada perhatiannya akan hal yang terlihat remeh.” Ya, aku termasuk sedikit orang yang percaya bahwa etika dan moral seseorang itu sesungguhnya terefleksikan dari keseluruhan tindak tanduknya, bahkan dari hal yang sering disepelekan. Seseorang yang tingkatan “budi"nya tinggi, akan sedapat mungkin mengucapkan terimakasih ketika pesanannya diantar. Sekedar menanyakan nama sopir yang busnya kita sewa juga menurut saya sesuatu yang menunjukkan etika seseorang.  Intinya mau memanusiakan manusia. Kalau minjem barang ya berarti itu adalah tanggungjawabnya, sesepele apapun barang itu. Contohnya aja nih ya, minjem bolpen atau stabilo. Sepele kan? Stabilo bagi sebagian orang adalah hal sepele yang kurang berarti, tetapi bagi sebagian orang lainnya, tanpa stabilo dia tak bisa belajar.  Jadi belajar untuk tidak menyelekan. Hal-hal kecil yang bagi orang dianggap sepele dan tidak terlalu penting. B

Happiness is how you feel about yourself

Kalau mau melihat karakter sejatinya seseorang, coba deh lihat bagaimana dia memperlakukan orang yang belum dikenal alias total stranger dan/ atau orang yang posisinya dibawah dia (maksudnya yang less fortunate in terms of duniawi). WHY? Karena wajar dong dia baik sama temen yang “sederajat” atau orang yang diatasnya, tapi bagaimana dia memperlakukan orang yang dibawahnya, itu lah karakter dia yang sesungguhnya. Itu kalo menurut ane yah. Aku selalu terkesan dengan orang yang mau menyempatkan sebentar waktunya buat berbincang sama “kawula bawah”, nanyain nama, atau sekedar menyapa. It may be simple, but I’m sure it means a lot buat bapak atau ibu atau saudara yang disapa itu karena merasa di-wong-ke. Unlike anak2 muda jaman sekarang yang main nyelonong aja. Jangankan nyapa, ngeliat aja enggak. Mungkin bukan maksud mereka juga sih ya buat ga sopan gitu. Mungkin mereka buru2, atau bingung mau nyapanya gimana. Sometimes, i do that too kok though I try not to. Mari budayakan saling sap

Kenali dirimu, lingkunganmu, dan sadari kekuatan waktu. That, my dear, are the key to master your life.

Ada yang aneh hari ini. Bagaikan kanvas putih yang tetiba ditubruk segerombolan warna yang membaur tiba-tiba. Mengaduk kalbu, menduga rasa. Indah tanpa nyawa.  Aku sudah banyak berubah. Ya, aku tahu. Sebagian menuju kebaikan, sedangkan beberapa mulai kehilangan hakikatnya. Tak ada yang konstan terjadi kecuali perubahan itu sendiri. Hidup memang lucu. Guyonannya terkadang menyecap getir. Bagaimana kita bisa sampai disini? Akan terjadi apalagi seusai ini? Hendak ditarik kemana kuas hidupku ini?  Tak ada yang tahu. Tak ada yang pasti. Tapi semua bergerak. Harus bergerak meski terserak, karena diam tak kan berpihak. Rasa malam mulai menggerayangi pikiran. Memutar kembali jejak rekam peristiwa. Satu per satu. Kenangan demi kenangan. Dalam diam, ia mulai menanamkan bibit-bibit kegalauan. Terlintas kembali kehidupan yang parau di masa kemarau. Sungguh, tiada kurang syukurku atas hujan yang pertama turun di musim itu. Kemudian, ia membelok pada keajaiban-keajaiban yang terjadi setelah

April 4th, 2011. The day I set foot in far away land for the very first time, Hiroshima, Japan. This photo might be taken a day or two post-arrival. One of the most influential moment which impacted my life forever. I can never heal my addiction to travel in foreign lands, meet and interact with strangers who soon become friends, or crave for diversity. I can never thank enough to FEB UGM and Hiroshima University of Economics who gave me this lifetime opportunity. The journey that has changed my view, opened up my eyes to the new big playground, and somehow broadened my horizon. In top of that, it’s always been a journey to find my true self. Now, I may go through a series of changes that push me into a total unknown land. Those phase of life in which I cannot run yet. Thus, I haven’t figure out what it’s going to be. I can feel that this may not be a smooth familiar path that I’m taking. It’s a long winding road ahead, but I shall not be afraid. I only need to keep on be

Kalau kamu belum bisa memenuhi syarat, jangan coret mimpi itu dari dream-list mu. You can still work it out! Semua masih bisa diperjuangkan. Semua bisa dipelajari

Out of blue, neither trying to be judgmental nor righteous, I haven’t come to understand those who cheat on their lovers. If you dont love this one person anymore, why dont you just break it up? Why should make things even more complicated by involving third party? Some said, “it’s just for fun” or “i was too lonely”. You gotta be kidding me! What’s so fun about torning your heart into two out of loneliness. Are you a kid who cant be on your own for a sec?? Is your life only about love and sex? Isn’t there any bigger purpose that you can focus on? Oh, tolong dipikirin yang ini ya: “Jika dia bisa selingkuh dari pacarnya, artinya dia juga bisa selingkuh dariku nantinya. Emangnya apa yang berbeda tentang diriku. Am I the exception (If it does exist)?” That’s probably can help you to not stabbing your special one. I fail to understand how could you do that to your loved ones? Unless you dont really love him/her. The only question that bothers me, how does it fe

There were times when I was just too tired to be strong. Just like this very moment. Not all of a sudden I feel this way. This feeling has grown bigger and bigger each day. There were times when I locked myself in my room after a ‘magabut’ workday. Feelin so goddamn tired and worn out, emotionally. Thinking what am I really doing here? Am I really taking this path? Can I be where I wanna be if I keep doing what I am doing?? All this stuffs (and so much other unspoken stuffs) keep stuck in my mind. I can’t help it. Can’t take it out either. Have you ever felt like you wanna cry so fucking badly yet you just can’t shed a tear? It tangled on your throat. I forget how to cry, somehow. Or.. Maybe what to cry?? It hurts like hell, yet you don’t know which to cure. Your thoughts shouting at each other, too loud to hear 'em out. Spinning.. Spinning.. My faith is shaking cause I haven’t found my pivot. This is an ultimate point to launch my future ahead. Guess I’m givin it to