Cross Cultural Communication: Why American and Japanese seems rude to each other?

People as Individuals

By. Cindhi Cintokowati

I have read the first five chapters and I found People as Indivisuals as the most interesting one. This chapter reveals the differences between Americans and Japanese culture in three aspects: making conversations regarding personal life, expressing refusal, and indivualism. The basic mindset is that Americans consider themselves as indivual rather than belong to a certain group. Meanwhile, Japanese views themselves as  a member of a certain group and strongly attached to it. This is getting more interesting because in some ways I feel that Javanese shares the same character as Japanese. Yet it is not as strong as Japanese.

The first different is that Americans feel it’s rude or impolite to ask about others’ personal life and give suggestion without asked to so. Back to basic mindset, others’ business is not mine. In the opposite way, since Japanese feels as a group member, they tend to give  more attention on others’ life because one’s problem may affect the group as a whole. Interestingly, it does happen in my country. When we meet our neighbours on the street, we often ask something like, “where are you going?” which will continue to the next question like “what for?” and sort of. Those things considered as caring to each other. Of course, it’s blurring over time yet small questions like that still used as platitude.

The next interesting different is regarding how hard it is to make an excuse to decline an invitation from Japanese, compared to Americans. The formula is Polite No+Reason for Japanese and just Polite No for Americans. Surprisingly, I do just like Japanese and I wasn’t even realize it. In Indonesia, it’s common to give explanation when you decline invitation or ask for apology. Back then, it perhaps one of frequent factor that causing someone to make “a small lie”. Because you always need a reason for declining something. I just realize this lately when I couldn’t come to my friend apartment, then I sent her a message full of explanations why I couldn’t come even they didn’t ask. Sometimes I feel it’s so silly to be so uncomfortable, try to explain the reasons that American or Eroupean didn’t even ask for.

No matter how different it is, we couldn’t say which one is more polite than others. When we are talking about cultures, no one is better than others because it’s rooted on different believes and values. Japanese and Americans seem rude to each other because their relying value is completely different, individual orientation and group orientation. Yet I feel that this book tend to take American standpoint/ standard as the main comparison to Japanese Culture.

Reference:

Sakamoto, N. & Sakamoto, S. (2004). Polite fiction in collision: Why Japanese and Americans seem rude too each other. Tokyo: Kinseido.