Headscarf, why NOT?

Banyak orang yang bertanya, “Kenapa kamu akhirnya memutuskan untuk berkerudung?”

Kenapa ga dibalik jadi: “Kamu muslim kan? Kenapa tidak berkerudung?”

Dan kebanyakan orang akan menjawab, “Belum siap” untuk pertanyaan yang kedua. KLISE.

I used to hide behind that excuse too.

My first reason to put on headscarf might not be a noble one. But I finally came to understand something very simple that kept pulling me away from wearing headscarf and be a true muslim: the idea of perfection.

I’d write it in my perspective ya and this would corresponds to question no.2 with “belum siap” as their answer. Another reasons won’t be covered here.

I used to have this in mind, “I will cover myself when I am ready.”

And when is that? You must be questioning.

That would be the day when I feel I have perfected my religion, my faith to Allah, be someone that wont be a stain on Islam, well, or at least wait until I could maintain my prayers. Nothing wrong with that reason of course. The problem is: WHEN will you reach that? Are you sure you’ll be there before the Angel of Death take you away? Meanwhile, each day I felt like I had been dragged to commit more and more sins. Will I ever be in so-called ‘ready’?

Jadi, sebenarnya apa yang kita tunggu?

***

Sampai pada suatu siang, kira-kira akhir Oktober 2009, aku memutuskan untuk memakai kerudung waktu berangkat ke kampus. Bener-bener gak ada planninghari itu akan mulai pakai. I just did it.

Sebelumnya memang aku bernazar akan memakai kerudung kalau aku keterima di UGM, tapi aku gak pernah state kapan waktu tepatnya. Hanya aku berniat maksimal sebelum aku lulus kuliah. Nah, waktu itu juga jaman SMA, I thought UGM was just too good to be true. So I put something that was not on my plan (I didn’t remember have any intention to cover myself before). But it had to be something good, something that I might not do it without a little push. Long story short, I love to impose myself to a difficult situation (out of my comfort zone) which I know will be good for me. So I made myself to have no choice, but on the time to put it on.

Entah darimana datangnya, beberapa hari sebelum aku mengenakan kerudung itu, aku pengen nyetok dulu kerudung dalam berbagai warna. Jadi kalau aku mendadak pengen pakai, bisa langsung eksekusi. Hehehe. Alhamdulillah yah.

Ternyata berawal dari beli kerudung baru yang gak tau kapan bakal dipakai, jadi trigger yang kuat buat langsung pakai aja. Kenapa? Karena kita jadi suka nyoba-nyoba kan? Gimana ya kalau pakai kerudung dengan warna ini, itu, nge-match-in sama baju kita. Jadi seru dan kepikiran, “ah, ternyata gak terlalu beda jauh ya. Biasanya juga gak pernah pakai baju yang terbuka, cuma beda ditutup kepala aja sekarang dan enggak panas juga kaya yang aku pikirkan sebelumnya”.

Iya sista, saya berkerudung pun sekarang masih ala kadarnya. Maksudnya masih berjins. Doakan bisa improve ya.

Eh, ini kok malah kemana-mana. Back to topic, yah jadinya gitu, saran saya sih don’t wait. Just do it kalau memang sudah ada niat.

LESSONS LEARNED

Sharing beberapa pelajaran yang aku dapet setelah memutuskan berjilbab ya:

1. Dulu aku mikir mau perfect dulu baru berkerudung. Ini alur berpikir yang salah, dengan berkerudung kita akan terbantu atau tergiring ke jalan kebaikan. Semoga dan InshaAllah. Contohnya nih, to be honest dulu aku seneng nongkrong (ngopi sama ngobrol-ngobrol aja) sama temen-temen sampai tengah malam. Well, not everyday, only on satnight. Tapi setelah pakai kerudung, aku cuma pernah pulang sampai jam 12 malam 1x. Kenapa?

Karena rasanya gak enak dan gak pantes banget cewek muslim berkeliaran di jam segitu (ini dalam konteks aku cuma nongkrong gak jelas yah, ngabisin waktu aja). Waktu itu, I was the only woman with headscarf in that place and I was stroke by it. Then I told my friend to take me home right away. When I had not put headscarf on, we could hang up to later hour.

Kerudung itu melindungi kita. Bikin orang lain lebih respect ke kita, kalau overall outfit kita juga yang sopan ya. Bukan baju serba ngetat itu. Diakui atau enggak, it makes difference.

2. Lebih berhati-hati dalam bersikap karena kita membawa nama Islam. Semua orang tau agama kita apa. No one expects you to behave perfectly, but at the very least, they would expect you to be behave like a muslim. Ngutip di bukunya Hanum Salsabilla Rais nih, kita itu harus jadi agen muslim yang baik. Mungkin ini juga yang nyambung ke poin 1, putting headscarf indirectly direct us to be a better muslim.

3. Menutup aurat itu KEWAJIBAN, bukan pilihan bagi wanita muslim which means that is the minimum requirement. That is NOT a GUARANTEE nor CERTIFICATE that we are a good muslim. It doesn’t necessarily to be the case, though it is only natural that people expect us to perform in an Islamic way. In order to be a good muslim, you have to go beyond wearing hijab. Hijab is BASIC. Really.

Even now, I would consider myself still lacking in soooooooo many ways to be considered as a good muslim. I MEAN IT. I am far from it, yet I am on it. For Allah, for my future husband and kids :p Hihi

*I want to be qualified for a good muslim man, so I need to be a good muslim woman first –> SEMANGAT!!*

Writer’s Corner:

I keep using the word “kerudung” or “headscarf” instead of jilbab/ hijab because of the definition given on wikipedia says that those two refers to long-loose-dress for muslim women. While I am not wearing those, I only put a headscarf on and still wearing jeans, or anything that basically covers my whole body but face and hand palm.

Btw ini draft udah dari akhir tahun 2013. Alhamdulillah yah rilis juga :D